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I drank mouthwash tonight. I took two gulps. People are passed out upstairs. I just downloaded Braid and Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved 2. When I got home from work tonight I drew a bath with only hot water. My plan was to lie really still and act really dramatic, but I ended up just playing with some rubber ducks and trying to hold my breath under the water for more than thirty seconds. It’s really tough after a couple drinks.
I AM A ZOMBIE.
ZOMBIES WILL LIVE UNTIL THEIR HEAD
IS NOT ATTACHED TO THEIR BODY.
I AM GOING TO EAT EVERYONE.
UPDATE: I took my pants off at a church’s playground at 5am to wipe my butt with a stick because I crapped myself trying to climb through a jungle gym that was way too small for me. Is that rock bottom?
NOTE: I will be continually updating this entry as things come to mind. The purpose of this entry is to keep track of things that might be funny, not things that I believe to actually be funny. As time goes on, I will make decisions on whether something is funny or not and mark it accordingly (most things will be marked as funny).
Funny: Strong
Not Funny: Strike
- Huffing paint.
- Bird poop.
Gagging every time I clean my tongue with my toothbrush.
XXX=main char.
car=car/truck (pickup? oldsmobile?)
whiskey=whiskey/gin (is drinking straight gin scummier?)
001
(continuous shot from inside of car – will be two breaks for clock time and work schedule)
shot of XXX waking up in his car. 1.75l bottle of whiskey against his chest.
between 25-35% full.
outside temp. preferred 35-45ยบ so XXX could be wearing winter jacket, but not necessary
XXX wakes up half-startled but silent, like he doesn’t remember falling asleep in his car but it isn’t unordinary
XXX fumbles for a bit to find and gather his stuff (keys, wallet – check how much money – cigarettes, etc.)
finds keys last, starts car, turns on heat.
no music or radio when car starts.
XXX checks clock (close-up shot on clock: between 8-9am) then checks watch (no close-up)
XXX looks for work schedule in between seats, then in glove compartment
finds it, unfolds it with one hand against his leg
with other hand (with bottle between his legs) opens whiskey
close-up of work schedule displaying work times and employer name or logo
work time approx. 5mins ahead of time displayed on clock
XXX drinks from bottle
pauses
drinks again
pauses
finds a flask somewhere in his car and drinks whatever is left in it (not much)
fills the flask with whiskey which empties the 1.75l bottle
checks his watch again, sits with car running, thinking, for approx. 15secs
shuts off car
takes another drink and gets out of the car.
END OF SCENE: approx. 2-3mins
002
(shot from outside approx. 40ft from car, preferably from behind. make sure employer is in frame)
XXX is in parking lot of employer (fast food?)
outside shot shouldnt last more than 30secs.
however long it takes to get from car to inside front door.
shot should be continuous, unmoving and silent aside from natural noise.
maybe delay some time by locking car?
END OF SCENE: approx. 30secs
003
(shot in back room of employer)
XXX enters room where he punches in.
still no voices, no sound of dining area. just natural noise (white noise!)
XXX takes off his jacket (if needed) and either puts on a work shirt or is wearing it under his jacket
if no jacket, takes work shirt from locker
does whatever normal stuff to get ready for work.
END OF SCENE: approx. 30-45secs
004
(non-stationary camera (first of the film) following XXX to the floor. will possibly need 3 cameras)
XXX comes out to the floor where people are already ordering.
should be breakfast, but food doesn’t really matter.
XXX opens his register (not literally) and offers help to the next customer
next customers: a man and two children (preferably boy/girl between 5-7yrs)
comes up to order, has a long order (ordering for wife also maybe?)
typical non-compliant children who won’t make up their mind and won’t stop arguing
order changes a few times. should last between 30-40secs.
- camera should be changing between XXX face, man’s face, and a side shot of the two on either side of counter)
signs of XXX being sick. not facial expressions, but maybe sweating (mist bottle?)
XXX eventually vomits on dad (and possibly kids)
BEFORE OR AFTER HE GETS THEIR ORDER?
- after would allow more time, and would allow XXX to barf on food, but before seems more appropriate
regardless, credits to cut after the man and children are barfed on.
not sure whether the man should have a loud or quiet reaction (try both?)
but no more than 3secs of reaction time before scene ends
END OF SCENE: approx. 2-3mins
005
OPENING CREDITS: To begin with a 5-8sec black screen and music (ian ainley? scott daly? rachel browne?)
allow a few seconds before title is displayed (WHAT THE FUCK IS THE TITLE??)
possibly in basic white font, but probably not. basic white font is very art-faggish
after title is displayed, montage of XXX driving home.
non-stationary cut shots of the town. normal camera-out-the-window shots and shots of car driving by.
DOG MUST BE INCLUDED IN OPENING SHOTS FOR FUTURE SCENE – camera-out-the-window-following-a-stationary-object thing
should last about 1min. with no sound, only music.
after some time (ultimately determined on song length) XXX parks at liquor store.
- unmoving shot, similar shot to 002 in the sense that it is from behind with liquor store within frame
– at some point XXX must finish his flask. add another quick shot of him drinking it in the car? or does he get out of the car in the “unmoving shot” and finish before he enters store?
optional, but if there is a shot inside of the liquor store, still silent. only music in the credits. pure montage….
XXX buys a pint of whiskey, leaves.
on the way out, sees something in the window about a lost dog.
reward somewhere between $200-300
writes down information or takes sign?
- if song needs more time to finish, writes it down. if less time, takes sign
has a cigarette while reading the sign if song needs time to finish
END OF SCENE: approx. 3-4mins
006
(mobile camera, following XXX into his apartment – probably two cameras for dialogue)
no need to write specific dialogue now.
XXX returns to his apartment, where his roommate is eating breakfast and reading the paper
conversation begins about getting fired
“why”
“i threw up on a family”
“why”
“we got too drunk last night”
- maybe a quick 3-second cut scene of something really hectic, but probably not
mentions lost dog sign
“what makes you think you can find it”
XXX mentions he saw a similar dog on his drive home
- during scene XXX is making a bowl of cereal and puts a bagel in the toaster
“why do you want to do this”
XXX explains that if he can find two dogs a week he’ll be getting paid more than his previous job
- maybe just mention that he needs to find rent money? leave the “job” part of it for later?
XXX is done with his cereal at this point (eaten very fast – talking the whole time with mouth full)
towards tail end of conversation, XXX grabs cream cheese from the fridge, the finished bagel, a knife, and says he’s leaving
“OK good luck”
XXX leaves and roommate goes back to reading the paper
END OF SCENE: approx. 5-6mins
If I were to choose a new life on this planet I’d probably choose to be some sort of plant or maybe coral. The idea of existing without any sort of consciousness seems pretty appealing to me. And I like the water so I would pick coral.
I’d also like to point out that today (03.19.2007) a woman came into the liquor store to buy a really cheap bottle of wine, a 50ml bottle of flavored vodka and a couple other things. Her total came out to something-and-eighteen cents. She took a quarter out of her pocket and then put it back in her pocket and took a nickel and thirteen pennies out of the jar on the counter.
She said to me, “I really don’t like having change.”
Now whenever she comes into the store I’m going to ignore her because I still want to refuse that people like this exist. Also, she’s a regular customer so now whenever I see her come into the store I’m going to take all the pennies out of the jar until she leaves.
When I was in Philadelphia yesterday someone from work got in touch to let me know that I wasn’t on the schedule until Friday. I can’t say that I especially care, but it gave me the feeling that certain people from work were trying to sabotage me.
To their credit, I have a habit of shutting down when I’m not comfortable at a job. I also am pretty sure that I was too overbearing with the sense of entitlement I picked up at work over the past couple of months. I work with a bunch of sneaky, selfish pigs though and the only thing I ever felt entitled to was an equal opinion when it came to something that involved me directly. This is what I think got me into trouble. In order to bring up any opinion I might have, I’m stuck listening to a stream of unfiltered nothingness from whomever I’m speaking with. I really don’t understand the habit most people have of saying one thing ten different ways. It bugs the living shit out of me and for some reason it always ends up being my fault. It’s my fault for understanding what someone says the first time they say it, and it’s my fault for not having the patience to listen to a reworded version of it nine more times afterwards.
I talked to my mother briefly about getting a prescription to some sort of anxiety medication. She said that I’ll have to go see a psychiatrist for a bit. I’m fine with this as long as I get the prescription.
Next week I’ll be in Sarasota. I’m driving down with someone who goes to school at the Ringling School of Design. My parents have a condo down there and we’ll be staying in it until my friend can move into her dormitory. I haven’t bought a flight ticket home and I don’t know when I should do that. I don’t want to buy a ticket at all. I’m going to look for a job while I’m down there. I really want to work at the dog track.
There is a devil inside of me, but he has a kind heart.
I’m stopped at the Grover Cleveland rest area on the New Jersey Turnpike. I’m writing this in my 1998 Oldsmobile Intrigue, which is listed as silver, but is actually more of a rusty gray. I’m driving home from a weekend spent in Philadelphia. Home is Fairfield County, Connecticut.
I spent the weekend in Philadelphia with a couple of people I know from an internet forum. One of them needed an “actor” for something he was filming. It turns out he needed me to get naked and pretend to have sex with a roasted chicken. Then I stab the chicken a bunch of times with a kitchen knife. Then I sprinkle confetti over the chicken and give a double thumbs-up. Then I hold up a flash-card that reads “The End” and has a butterfly drawn on it in Sharpie. I never really asked my friend what the film was about because he said it was a secret project he’s been working on for four years. He shot it in sepia tone I think, and said there wouldn’t be any sound for the scene. He said he’d give me some gas money for coming down, but instead he just gave me a joint.
I’m at Grover Cleveland rest area because we ate the roasted chicken after filming and now I have to go to the bathroom. I take Paxil and I drink every day so it’s very rare for me to excrete solids. I also go to the bathroom three or four times a day, at least.
It’s really muggy out and it’s getting dark. Rain just started coming down a little bit, but it’s acting like it might stop soon. I don’t like to drive with my windows closed because I get really bothered for some reason. This, above all else, is making me think I should go talk to my doctor about maybe having a social anxiety disorder. I want him to give me a prescription to Xanax or Klonopin, but he probably won’t because he is the doctor for my whole family. I’ll have to convince my mother that it’s a good idea first. I might have to go see a psychiatrist.
The rain stopped.
I wish I had a Vicodin to help me with the rest of the ride home (GPS says 74 miles to go) but I only brought one and I took it last night. I don’t want to smoke the joint that I have because I want to save it for when I get home. I ran out of pot yesterday and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get more. I don’t want to buy more from my brother, probably just because he’s my brother, but also maybe because the other guy that I buy from has better pot. My brother is five years younger than me.
I’ve decided that I’m going to [love] myself a year from now [and] I [will] convince myself that I am finally [happy].
I’ve also decided that I should get some coffee before I drive.
